As seen in Dayton Daily News, January 18, 2014
In my line of work as an organizer I come across some distressing situations. Children who are living in hoarding conditions are some of the most heartbreaking. My heart goes out to the parent and the child because the situation is agonizing for both.
I have compassion for the parent because they love their child and want to do the best for them, but their hoarding addiction leaves them feeling paralyzed and powerless. They struggle emotionally to make the necessary changes in order to have a more calm and orderly home.
When I speak with the children, they tell me they feel trapped and want to escape. They describe their home as a warehouse or worse, a junk yard.
Children are embarrassed to have friends over because they don’t want them to see the living conditions in their home. They tell me they have plenty of toys, but no one to share in the fun.
Teenagers tell me they do everything they can to stay away from their home. They say, “I can’t wait until I am old enough to get far away from this house.”
Personally, it gives me a sense of security when my teens are home during their down time. It saddens me to think some teens avoid their home and family because of the clutter.
The children enjoy being with their parent, but the disarray in the home causes frustration and arguments unfold. The parent/child relationship suffers and kids temporarily escape to their friends’ homes.
In addition to the break down of their relationship, there are other concerns for children living among clutter.
Their schoolwork can suffer. They have a difficult time getting ready in the morning and show up late to school, sometimes without breakfast. Back home it can be challenging to complete homework among the chaos when they desire structure.
Teachers also report homework is late, lost or forgotten when children live in an extremely disorganized home. Parents also forget to turn in permission slips and other important documents concerning their children.
There are health and safety concerns in a home where hoarding takes places.
Keeping the home clean is difficult because there are too many items to clean around. Children’s respiratory conditions are exacerbated because of dust and mold in the home. They require additional medications and breathing treatments to help make breathing easier.
It’s difficult to prepare healthy meals and keep the kitchen clean if it is in endless chaos. Children are eating less nutritious meals in kitchens that are not sanitary.
If you are a parent who is keeping more items in your home than you can manage please consider seeking help. Your child loves you, but they too feel paralyzed and powerless living in a home with no organization or calmness.
If you are a child who is living with a hoarding parent seek help from a trusted adult. You can also visit www.childrenofhoarders.com for information and to talk with a professional.
Don’t let a cluttered home keep you from having a terrific relationship with your child and a safe, comfortable home. Change your emotional mindset and then do the physical work necessary to make changes in your home.
Seek the services of professionals if you can’t do it alone.
Organizing class
Lori Firsdon will teach an organizing class from 6:30-8:30 p.m. Tuesday at the Kettering Rec Center, 2900 Glengarry Drive. It’s titled “Who’s in Charge … You or Your Stuff?”
For more information and to register, go online to ketteringoh.org or call 937-296-2587.