As seen in the Dayton Daily News on May, 10, 2014.
This is an organizing column. I write about simplicity, living with less and tips on how to get organized.
However, there was a time in my life when I couldn’t have written this column. Even though I have been an organized person as far back as I can remember, I went through a stage in my life when I thought material things brought happiness.
I am sharing my past with you in hopes that you can dodge some of my mistakes and maybe take a shortcut to happiness.
I married at a very young age, right out of high school. With a dual income and no children, we were able to buy items without giving it much thought. We bought a starter home, expensive cars and a boat, just to name a few.
As the years went by, I started feeling disconnected from my husband. I shared this with him. Instead of giving me his time that I craved, he started buying me things: a fur coat, expensive jewelry and clothes. Each time they made me happy, but only for a little while.
As I matured, I realized that some of my material possessions were not even in line with my values. I’m an animal lover, so what was I doing with a fur coat? I took pride in saving money, yet I was driving a car that cost more than my house payment.
I owned a horse, which required grooming a muddy animal and cleaning stalls. Expensive jewelry didn’t quite fit with my hobby.
I was taking care of things that no longer brought me joy. Each year I winterized a boat that I didn’t even enjoy, because it gave me so many problems throughout the summer.
I paid for insurance on jewelry I rarely wore and a house payment on a home where I felt lonely.
My unhappiness led to the end of my marriage. Although it was painful, I learned an incredible lesson that we hear all the time and I now believe. Money cannot buy happiness. I realized that once my basic needs are met, being loved is more important than material things.
Fast-forward. I remarried over 20 years ago, and we are blessed with five children. I have a job I’m passionate about that allows me to improve other people’s lives, which is incredibly rewarding.
I drive a car that’s 14-years old. I’m thrilled each time I turn the key and it starts. I don’t want expensive jewelry or a bigger house.
When people ask me what my husband bought me for Christmas, I say, “Absolutely nothing,” with a smile on my face. I value the time we get to spend together, not the purchases he could be bringing home.
I am far from being a minimalist, but the things I purchase are in line with my values and help me reach my goals.
I’ll leave you with this quote by G.K. Chesterton: “There are two ways to get enough: One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.”
I think you can guess which one makes me happy. Now look around. What makes you happy?