As seen in the Dayton Daily News on December 21, 2013
The other evening my daughter and her friend asked me if we could start decorating our home for Christmas. I looked at their eager little faces and said, “Sure, in fact you can decorate it all on your own.”
They got busy right away. Lids came off the Christmas bins, boxes with our family treasures appeared and two fifth graders went running from room to room decorating any surface they could reach.
This was a test for me. Could I really let them decorate and keep my opinion out of it?
Many times throughout the evening I wanted to say, “I don’t put that there” or “I don’t think those things look good next to each other.”
Instead, I smiled, offered encouragement and let them carry out their mission.
I don’t particularly like decorating so I knew delegating this task was a good thing for me to let go of.
Instead of being critical of how they were going about decorating, I chose to look at the positives.
Since they were happy being on their own it gave me some quiet time to focus on others tasks I needed to get done.
I actually liked some of the changes they made. It was nice having things changed up a bit from the way I decorate year after year.
It was freeing to not have to be in charge. I started thinking, what other tasks have I been doing that others might be happy to take over?
My girlfriends are surprised by the fact that I don’t like to shop. I feel anxious and stressed when I go shopping. I find shopping to be a chore instead of something fun to do so this was another task that was good for me to delegate.
I placed calls to my two older daughters who are away at college. They love to shop and have great fashion sense. I asked, “If I give you an allowance for each family member would you like to do my Christmas shopping this year?” Both were eager to get started.
By having the two of them do most of my shopping it has allowed me to do some holiday baking, which is what I enjoy doing.
I am learning to let go of tasks I have been doing for a long time. I’m finding my kids are willing to help when I find tasks that match what they naturally enjoy doing. Letting go of the idea that things need to be done my way and letting my children shine at what they like to do is freeing up time for me so I can focus on more enjoyable tasks.
Get out of the habit that you have to do everything. Look for areas of your life where you can delegate those tasks you don’t enjoy that others are happy to do. Don’t feel guilty because you think you should be doing these tasks. Who says you should?
To make this transition easier, you have to let go of perfectionism. Delegate, give them some direction, be ready to bite your tongue and let them handle it. Think about the positives of letting go instead of being critical. You may find letting go is easier than you think.