As seen in the Dayton Daily News on July 16, 2016.
Your mind dictates an emotional value for every item in your home. Therefore, everything you own comes with an attached emotion.
Some items have low emotional value, for instance your everyday, ordinary No. 2 yellow pencils. If I told you I was going to gather them up and take them away, you probably wouldn’t get too upset because if you needed them in the future, you could easily purchase them again very inexpensively.
Other items have a highly super-charged emotional value. What if I held up the same ordinary No. 2 yellow pencil, but it came from your deceased father’s home? You then found out he was using it right before he passed away while writing his last manuscript for a series of books he wrote just for you. What was once an ordinary pencil can trigger a super-charged emotional response.
In this instance if I gathered up the pencils to take them away, your response might be, “You can get rid of all of them, but I want to keep that special one.” Even if you’ll never use it, it’s one of the many things you keep of your father’s because getting rid of his things feels like throwing away the love you have for your father.
If you share this ‘stuff=love’ mentality, your home becomes inundated with things. Your storage area is stuffed to the max, the attic is packed to the rafters and your car sits outside because your garage is overflowing with super-charged emotional items. You don’t even like being home any longer because it’s all so overwhelming.
If you feel getting organized is impossible because your emotions keep you from letting go of things, there is good news. With each new day, you have the option to adapt your thinking, let go of your loved ones’ things and be reassured the love is still there.
You’ll learn that things, like the pencil, are not your love or your memories. These don’t change when you let go.
I’m not saying you have to part with everything from your loved ones, just the things you are not using, displaying or those that are keeping you from enjoying your home to the fullest.
This ‘stuff=love’ thinking has some people keeping things even when the items do not bring about favorable emotions.
Items you’re keeping could be a reminder that you didn’t spend enough time with your loved one, should have been more ‘in the moment’ when you were together or should have told them you loved them more often. Recognize the things that are a source of pain, instead of a comfort, and part with those first.
Overall, your deceased loved ones would want you to be happy, even if that means parting with the items they left behind in order for you to feel in control of your home again. They would also appreciate their things being enjoyed by someone who needs them, instead of being boxed up and stacked in your storage room collecting dust.
The next time you organize your home, remember that ‘love=love.’ It has nothing to do with stuff.